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moof's prattling

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February 13th, 2004

bein' social, or not. @ 07:48 pm

Current Mood: depressed depressed
Current Music: Lush, Nothing Natural

I frequently have two dueling impulses fighting in out in my head - to be gregarious and social and whatnot, and the part of me that knows I get tired out by being social, or driving to go somewhere, or dressin' up as appropriate. Lately, it seems that the latter has been winning. Being stressed out from work generally doesn't improve my mood or inclination to do anything much but hide and curl up at home, too.

It doesn't help that along with those things, I'm not outgoing, and I erect high social barriers for myself. The notion of talking to someone out of the blue scares the living bejeezus out of me, unless there's some decent amount of context/background I can grab onto. As far as the social barriers go... some of them are because I have a nasty tendency to wander over borders without meaning to do so, and have to be extra careful. This sometimes manifests in odd ways; like, while I prefer to greet people by hugging them, I ain't gonna do so to somebody unless they've made some explicit intimation that they'd actually want me to; usually, this means that they have to hug me first. In a related sort of way, if I hear about parties or "come over to my house" or much of anything else social, I definitely wouldn't go - or even mention the subject at all - without some sort of explicit invitation first; this especially sucks when lots of people talk about this big event they're going to that isn't an open invite.

I don't know if this is all real weird, just me, or something else.

 
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From:bolteroo
Date:February 13th, 2004 09:01 pm (UTC)
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awww...*hugs*
this tends to be a hide and curl up at home time of year.
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From:saturnia
Date:February 13th, 2004 11:50 pm (UTC)
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Then I explicitly invite you to my birthday party on the 28th! Rather, I invite you to buy a ticket. This event is turning out to be fairly expensive to put together, so I have a very limited guest list, unfortunately.

usually, this means that they have to hug me first

Hug? I had my hands in your mouth the first time we met!

Remember when I said there are likely fewer degrees of separation between us than we realize?
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From:moof
Date:February 16th, 2004 12:10 am (UTC)

Re:

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*blinks a whole bunch of times*

Wow. I thought it looked like you under your Saturn monker, but I thought, "Nah, it couldn't be her - she looks a lot different, and she'd certainly be using one of her prior nicknames...."

Then again, I've cut off all my hair, let it regrow, and lost 60+ lbs since I saw you last, too. One of the venoms never healed right, alas.
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From:aceofkittens
Date:February 14th, 2004 10:11 pm (UTC)

Blah

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Blah. I know how frustrating that feels. I don't think it's weird at all to feel that way. I just hope that I haven't been somehow inconsiderate of you in these last few days. I always feel so pressed for time when I make whirlwind visits; I feel like I never have enough to see everyone I do want to. :( So even if it doesn't happen this time around, I DO want to see more of you.
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From:moof
Date:February 16th, 2004 12:36 am (UTC)

Re: Blah

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Sorry for logging off so weirdly/suddenly on Friday; I was in the throes of a major depressive spell, and couldn't deal with russian-vomitorium-riddle at the time.

And while I would like to see you, too, I don't wanna add to the stress that seems to follow you around; I'm hardly one to say "See me NOW! NOW NOW NOW!"
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From:aceofkittens
Date:February 16th, 2004 02:04 am (UTC)

Re: Blah

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Oh, that's ok. I just assumed that the only reasonable explanation was that you were dead. :) I'm sorry you felt depressed though. :(

As for crazy party madness, you better believe it that you will be first on my guest list for the next Pukatorium. I think that most people's livers have recovered enough in these last few months...

{{{moof}}} I hope you feel better.
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From:moof
Date:February 16th, 2004 02:26 am (UTC)

Re: Blah

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I seem to be doing a bit better now. The fact that I accidentally slept for fourteen hours on Saturday (and only woke up when the phone rang) make it seem like something organic may have been at hand.

Stupid neurochemistry, bah! Neurochemistry is POISON!
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From:dr_beep
Date:February 18th, 2004 09:28 am (UTC)
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I always feel really odd going to a party or event when the person hosting it has not explicitly asked me to.

I mean parties are not my favorite environment in the first place, I get easily overwhelmed and generally need to filter my reality through a few strong drinks or other social cushions in order to function, which is less than ideal.

I really like seeing the people I like though, and often that's the only way I get to see people, in a crowd of strangers.

Once I have transportation again I need to get more active in the seeing of people in better settings, in small groups or individually.

moof's prattling

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