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moof's prattling

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September 10th, 2003

(no subject) @ 10:00 am

Current Mood: broken

 
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From:moof
Date:September 10th, 2003 12:07 pm (UTC)
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I'm not unhappy, per se; I'm sorta "just here". One of the things that depression does is that it dampens down enjoyment of things so much that the decay time is close to nil. For example, I'm listening to Sing-Sing right now, one of my favorite bands. I like the song, but as soon as it's over, its effects are gone. I'm more or less existing in an apathetic, numb state - which itself is amazingly emotionally tiring, and is one of the impetuses (impeti?) that lead to emotional breakdowns such as one I had this morning.

It's a difficult thing to explain: what does it feel like when something that should be there isn't?
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From:icis_machine
Date:September 10th, 2003 12:29 pm (UTC)
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for the most part that's how i try to feel most of the time: apathetic, numb

i think it lends itself to reason but then again everything becomes boring.

i really think this comes down to a philosphical issue. is part of life feeling something constantly? does it have to be good or bad? do i need to strive towards feeling good constantly?

but i do think you need to get out and do something new to maybe get yourself going.
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From:moof
Date:September 10th, 2003 12:50 pm (UTC)
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I think it's OK to feel numb sometimes, but it's definitely not a condition I aspire to. I was pretty numb from age 3-16, and it sucked. I want to experience the world and everything in and around it. I live here, I figure I may as well see what there is. Call me a Romantic, I guess.

On the other hand, I think it's silly to want to feel good all the time; it smacks of wanting to eat ice cream all the time and to have all the candy in the universe.


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