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moof's prattling

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September 10th, 2003

(no subject) @ 10:00 am

Current Mood: broken

When the last thing you do before leaving for work is lie in your bed and cry for ten minutes because you can't enjoy anything... you know it's going to be a long day.
 
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From:ariyanakylstram
Date:September 10th, 2003 10:54 am (UTC)

*hug*

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Just *hug*
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From:icis_machine
Date:September 10th, 2003 10:55 am (UTC)
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why would you cry because you can't enjoy anything?
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From:djinneth
Date:September 10th, 2003 11:40 am (UTC)
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I'm guessing you've not ever been exposed to people suffering from depression. Either that or you're joking.
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From:icis_machine
Date:September 10th, 2003 11:52 am (UTC)
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no, no joking.
and no, i've been exposed to numerous people who are depressed or mentally ill.

my point in asking the question is to point out that not enjoying anything in life doesn't mean you have to feel unhappy.
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From:moof
Date:September 10th, 2003 12:07 pm (UTC)
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I'm not unhappy, per se; I'm sorta "just here". One of the things that depression does is that it dampens down enjoyment of things so much that the decay time is close to nil. For example, I'm listening to Sing-Sing right now, one of my favorite bands. I like the song, but as soon as it's over, its effects are gone. I'm more or less existing in an apathetic, numb state - which itself is amazingly emotionally tiring, and is one of the impetuses (impeti?) that lead to emotional breakdowns such as one I had this morning.

It's a difficult thing to explain: what does it feel like when something that should be there isn't?
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From:icis_machine
Date:September 10th, 2003 12:29 pm (UTC)
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for the most part that's how i try to feel most of the time: apathetic, numb

i think it lends itself to reason but then again everything becomes boring.

i really think this comes down to a philosphical issue. is part of life feeling something constantly? does it have to be good or bad? do i need to strive towards feeling good constantly?

but i do think you need to get out and do something new to maybe get yourself going.
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From:moof
Date:September 10th, 2003 12:50 pm (UTC)
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I think it's OK to feel numb sometimes, but it's definitely not a condition I aspire to. I was pretty numb from age 3-16, and it sucked. I want to experience the world and everything in and around it. I live here, I figure I may as well see what there is. Call me a Romantic, I guess.

On the other hand, I think it's silly to want to feel good all the time; it smacks of wanting to eat ice cream all the time and to have all the candy in the universe.

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From:sayre
Date:September 10th, 2003 11:00 am (UTC)
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:(
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From:jenicided
Date:September 10th, 2003 11:34 am (UTC)
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What happened to Moof!?
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From:moof
Date:September 10th, 2003 11:48 am (UTC)
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rich, creamy depression.

(with all the fucking meds I'm on I'd have thought that the foul black moods that lurk would go away. nope; they're mitigated but not gone, and sometimes act up enough to clobber you over the head anyway.)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:October 17th, 2003 06:50 pm (UTC)
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That's been my experience with them too, moof. I expected them to put a "floor" underneath me, and for some of the time there is one. But it's got gaping holes in it.

--noah
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From:elegantelbow
Date:September 10th, 2003 11:57 am (UTC)
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I hate that feeling. What's worse is when you get into work and they write up a reprimand, because you were late.

*hug*
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From:random_girl
Date:September 10th, 2003 12:41 pm (UTC)
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Um, Tom, I'd hug you if I could. In the interim, think of this:

You: Okay, your character just walked in front of M-16 fire.
Them: What?!
You: Sorry, dude, you did something stupid, you get shot.
Them: What?!
You: Maybe I'm just thinking about work.
Them: What?!

I hope you feel better.
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From:subtly_modded
Date:September 10th, 2003 01:13 pm (UTC)
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i think you need a fancy hug.

{hug}
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From:allida
Date:September 10th, 2003 03:43 pm (UTC)
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*HUGS*

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