grand moof tarkin (moof) wrote,
grand moof tarkin

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I was emo before all y'all!

My brother's birthday party, 30 Mar 1979.

Also, a picture that explains a lot about me. (No idea of the date.)

One of the earliest memories I have, from around age 2-3, was waking up in my room and seeing that the room was all dark and the door was closed. The only times the door had been shut before are when I'd been misbehaving and I was put in my room... and so I was confused, wondered what I had done, and cried a bunch. Mom eventually heard me, came in, and asked me what was wrong; when I told her "the door was shut!" she said something like oh, I didn't want the noise to wake you up.

The really weird thing is that this memory is strongly linked to a behavior I still exhibit: when I'm feeling down and/or isolated and I hear people laughing, it sends me spiralling down really bad. Not yelling, not talking, but specifically laughing. I have no idea why this is, but it seems like a behavior I've always had. Maybe I'm not remembering something.

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