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moof's prattling


May 8th, 2003

serious me. @ 12:16 am

Current Mood: good good
Current Music: Bangles, Hazy Shade of Winter

I was talking to my psych the other day, and she asked me how I was feeling; I told her that I was doing pretty well, and that I was pretty cheerful as of late. She pointed out that my face was "out of sync" with my feelings, and that I looked sorta somber and melancholy. When I'm concentrating on something (unless it's funny in some way), my expression tends to go pretty blank and neutral - which is apparently a sign of "I'm sad or angry, leave me alone". Grr, yet another thing I actively have to keep track of - remember to smile at least a little while walking down the street; look away from people every couple of seconds instead of continuing to look them in the eye, lest you look obsessed or creepy; and now, "actively broadcast happiness". Ugh.
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Date:May 8th, 2003 08:02 am (UTC)
it always freaks me out when i start thinking about what my face and eyes are doing...thinking things like- they must see the moments between when i laugh and when i remember to smile again.

sometimes it's like i need to prepare to be in the presence of people, and then it only lasts a specific length of time and i have to get away before i turn into a pumpkin.
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Date:May 8th, 2003 08:37 am (UTC)
Um, when my face is completely relaxed, people think I'm angry. And, when I'm lost in thought, complete strangers often come up and ask me if I'm okay, or if they can do anything for me, because apparently I look tragically sad.

I've taken to trying to twist the corner of my mouth up when I think about it, because apparently that doesn't fit the angry or sad look, but it's easier to actually remember than trying to project happiness through my whole face, or to full on smile all the time. But, you know, whatever works for you.
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Date:May 8th, 2003 09:58 am (UTC)


behave... more human! Must... be like... the others!

Instead of smiling at people and greeting them joyously, today I shall frown deeply and open my eyeballs very wide, and annouce "my karma ran over your dogma!". That'll fix'em, but good.

Usually when I say "I feel good/OK" but I'm looking very serious, either I'm fibbing or I'm ignoring my feelings.
Date:May 8th, 2003 12:41 pm (UTC)

until recently, i'd never known anyone who'd get creeped out when being looked in the eye during conversation.
to me, it's always seemed like a sign of honesty...i can't look someone in the eye while i'm being a shit to them, or lying (which i'm pretty bad at anyway).
so when i'm having serious discussions or comforting someone, i tend to look them in the eye as much as possible.
Date:May 9th, 2003 08:08 pm (UTC)



I don't understand what your psych is getting at. I agree with some of the other comments ... be yourself. I've never thought of your look as being obsessed or creepy, and I have never been bothered by your countenance.

I don't see what the problem is with looking people in the eye either, as long as you're not staring at them with an evil grin and cackling.

Perhaps I'm missing something in the context of what your psych was trying to get at. I dunno.

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Date:May 10th, 2003 01:51 pm (UTC)
my partner & I have long been told similar stuff about our expressions, or lack of by "normal" people. I've been talked to about my tone of voice many times in the past too. Yes, I don't have enough paranoia all on my own, I need to be forever aware of my expression and tone so as not to scare or concern people. Oh, and I finally got those frown lines everyones been promising me since childhood this year ("go ahead and smile, it won't hurt" and "if you keep frowning like that you'll get a big wrinkle right between your brows").
I don't have a high opinion of phychs and can't help but wonder about all the scripts they're passing out to make people feel "better" and act more "normal" these days. Do we really want to be more like "them"?
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Date:May 11th, 2003 03:32 pm (UTC)
My neutral face apparently looks like I am going to beat you to death with your own leg...

I try to look friendly in public, I am friendly, but it's tiring.

When I'm old all the kids will be afraid of me and they will make up stories about what is in my basement, I accept this, but it is sad because I will have candy in a dish next to the door in case any of them come over.

moof's prattling