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moof's prattling


September 18th, 2002

(no subject) @ 01:45 am

Current Mood: bilious

Occasionally I'll get pointed to an LJ entry or IRC conversation that'll just gall me to no end. The sure way to make me seethe for hours on end is to practice some form of willful self-denial or ignorance. I've seen so many people do it, and so much Drama caused because of it, that it just fills me with an ill-kept rage.

My first reaction is to yell at them in public, and tell them exactly what I think is wrong with them or what they're doing. This is almost inevitably unhelpful to anyone, as the hostility and caring too much makes people get all defensive and steel themselves against anything related to what's said. It seems that a lot of the time, the most effective way to get the point across is to be detached, to simply not give a rat's ass whether one's advice is taken seriously or not, and to try and say what needs to be said with as little ego as possible.

Is it empty talk, the old saying that tact keeps you whole?
When truthfulness is complete, it still resorts to this.


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Date:September 19th, 2002 02:46 pm (UTC)


There's also the matter of staying clear of the inevitable train wreck that happens, sooner or later, after the denial.

I've been working hard over the last year on switching from scripted mode to improv mode precisely because I haven't historically responded well enough to the way the world really is (and, more importantly, the way I really am).
Date:September 20th, 2002 04:38 pm (UTC)

It hurts to wake up

There's usually a reason why the person is in such denial or unawareness -- either they were hurt in the past or are afraid of something and the coping mechanisms have kicked in a little too strong. I've found that the best way to get someone to wake up is to have a deep talk about anything late at night, then said mechanisms seem to relax their hold a bit. Failing that, letting them trip up b/c of their blindess, then gently help them through it and encourage them to talk about it (we usually have a moment of brilliant clarity after near disaster, capitalize on it).

moof's prattling