I also realized that in wandering around that not only did I have anhedonia, where I don't really get a lot of enjoyment out of doing stuff, I also have a tremendous lack of satisfaction from doing many things - and that's probably one of the deeper causes of the former. Although the klonopin makes me sleepy as fuck, it's also been really helpful in making the emotional monkey in the back of my head clanging its cymbals nonstop to slow down or occasionally be quiet, making it easier to figure out wtf I'm actually feeling other than anxiety or panic.
The biggest problem I face is "What now?"; I feel like Buridan's ass. Small bits of gardening and enjoyment at seeing the fireflies at night ain't cutting it.
This entry was originally posted at https://secretagentmoof.dreamwidth.org/8202.html. Please comment there using OpenID.