grand moof tarkin (moof) wrote,
grand moof tarkin
moof

A nightmare

I was at a party or some other social event, when I spied an engineer pal's purse and was reminded of something I should immediately look up right then and there. I unzipped her bag, pulled out her iPad, and opened up Safari to look up whatever that all-important thing was. She saw what I was doing with her tablet and purse and came over; she said, "I see you've been doing something naughty!" in a kiddingly chiding tone with only a vague undertone of unease at her stuff being violated. I was consumed by overwhelming guilt, shame, and embarrassment - not only for the act of violation, but that I had done so completely unthinkingly and without considering people's boundaries. I started to go fetal and make that weird bi-tonal screeching thing I do at times of extreme distress, but didn't actually do so because I was also waking up. I think I'm still vibrating from the adrenaline, half an hour later; the rush is as unpleasant as always.

I don't know whether it's the lamotrigine I've started taking, overexposure to Dad (although I don't think even he would just randomly go through people's stuff without asking), or something just out of the blue.

This entry was originally posted at https://secretagentmoof.dreamwidth.org/5235.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Subscribe

  • (no subject)

    I've been meaning to post my "decade in review" and "thoughts about my japan trip, redux" and "update japan travel recommendations", and even started…

  • japan travel guide: updated for 2019!

    I've been in Japan for a week now, and I'm getting used to how things work again. I hadn't spent any appreciable amount of time on my own here for...…

  • (no subject)

    Looks like I started an entry in May, but never finished it. How time flies. My sister had her first kid in May, so that's nice. She'd mostly given…

Comments for this post were disabled by the author