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September 10th, 2016

funemployment ho! @ 02:02 am

Sep 21 is my last day at the company. Some of my coworkers said that they've seen an increased spring in my step since I announced I was leaving; some of my coworkers are freaking out; some are hurriedly scheduling meetings to get me to braindump. My manager has been very sympathetic and understanding, and has been supportive. Haven't talked to HR yet, and nothing's on my calendar, so don't know what's up with that. COBRA will be lots of not fun; I really need to start scheduling all sorts of doctor appointments Real Soon.

What I told my manager is that I'm tired, burnt out, want a long vacation, and that my plans thus far are to go sit on my ass, go be a tourist, visit Alcatraz, and generally be irresponsible for a long while. These things are all very much true. However, there are a whole lot of exacerbating factors. My depression has been particularly bad, and my (probably sperg-based) anxiety and irritability have also been through the roof. (Even just writing this has taken more fortitude than I had thought.) I don't like where the future of sysadmin seems to be going, and that's "mostly disregarded in favor of something like devops or docker on steroids, and not valuing how systems generally operate." I don't like how San Francisco - and the rest of the Bay Area, for that matter - has been turning out; I don't like living someplace where most of the people I know who ain't in tech are either mulling, in the process, or have already moved away to someplace they could afford. College students are having to commute for multiple hours to get to school, as they can't afford to live nearby. Artist lofts are but a dim memory; when the average 1br apartment goes for $3k, not many artists who ain't already in a rent controlled place are going to live here.

So, if I don't want to stay in my career, or possibly where I'm living, then what? Answer thus far: "buh buh buh buh buh". Maybe veer into InfoSec. Maybe take the GRE and try to connive my way into grad school despite not having an undergrad degree; maybe move back to Chicago and live at my parent's house and go to grad school if I do the former; maybe see what pals in SoCal are up to and/or how I like it down there. (At least one former coworker is at SpaceX right now.) Maybe try and figure out where I'll physically want to be in 20 years when it's a couple of degrees warmer and the coasts are even more flooded. I don't really know. If I magically became "fuck off" levels of wealthy, I might consider moving back to Japan and doing something with teaching English or videogame development or something - but short of that, it's unlikely I'd live overseas again. Psych care, and the meds required therein - much less "being fluent in the language to talk to one's doctors" - seems like way too insurmountable a barrier.

In the meantime, anyway, I'm hoping that going to sit on my ass for six months - the median time before I start to get cranky at having too much free time - will help clarify WTF I want to do with myself. I honestly have no idea what I'll be doing and where I'll be in a year's time.
 
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From:xeger
Date:September 10th, 2016 01:26 pm (UTC)
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*hugs* At least it's one source of frustrating stress out the door :D
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From:moof
Date:September 13th, 2016 12:52 am (UTC)
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I've recovered almost to the point where I can make my long-overdue replies to messages on social media! The day after I turned in my resignation, I started waking up in the actual morning, too, which is decidedly weird for me.
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From:kaligrrrl
Date:September 10th, 2016 04:10 pm (UTC)
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Seattle--bearable climte, and a climate change refuge.
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From:ckd
Date:September 10th, 2016 05:24 pm (UTC)
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A fair bit of Seattle is low-lying, so it's not as great a climate change refuge as it might otherwise be, and it's not as cheap as it used to be either. (Though by Bay Area or even Boston standards, it's not so bad.)

Decent tech job market, too: Amazon and Microsoft (of course), but also Facebook, Google, Adobe, Tableau, etc....
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From:kaligrrrl
Date:September 10th, 2016 05:38 pm (UTC)
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Yeah but the Penninsula and the Sound will absorb most rising sea levels and keep the cuty safe. (Seattleite, so've been doing research ).
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From:moof
Date:September 13th, 2016 12:50 am (UTC)
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San Francisco is bad enough with the lack of sun; I'm not sure Seattle would be a step up.
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From:kaligrrrl
Date:September 13th, 2016 03:49 am (UTC)
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good point--we do have to mainline vit. D up here.
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From:caladri
Date:September 10th, 2016 10:05 pm (UTC)
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If you decide to veer into InfoSec, drop me a line! I would be delighted to drag you into some things, and remote is very much a possibility if you wanted to live somewhere nice, affordable, and not dominated by tech culture.
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From:savia
Date:September 10th, 2016 11:46 pm (UTC)
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Glad you are working on taking care of yourself. <3
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From:randomdreams
Date:September 11th, 2016 04:11 am (UTC)
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Wow, that's huge!
And yeah, I know tech people who are leaving the Bay, as well as people who are merely getting what would be excellent non-tech wages anywhere else in the US.
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From:chipadeedoodah
Date:September 11th, 2016 01:48 pm (UTC)
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Glad you're changing priorities to focus on self-care.

While on vacation, Julie and I summarized our relationship with SFBA thusly: "I wish I knew how to quit you."

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From:sjp
Date:September 12th, 2016 12:24 pm (UTC)
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Take some time to relax, but please don't leave too soon.
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From:moof
Date:September 13th, 2016 12:48 am (UTC)
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I started contemplating quitting in March; I doubt I'm going to be hasty any time soon.

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