June 27th, 2004

the gaping maw

asperger's, depression, my family, 'n' me. (long)

Recent events (which I'll go into at some other time) had prompted me to write my sister (and parental units, by proxy) about why I've missed several Xmases at home. Here's what I wrote... Collapse )

And then, my Dad replies to the letter...Collapse )

I really don't know wtf to say to this. Doing well for myself is defined by my job and how much I get paid? That the main point of my missive - explaining some of the underlying causes for why I act as I do, some of the core reasons for my feelings of alienation from my family - can be boxed up as 'Depression' and that praying will make them go away? It makes me want to scream, "No! No! That's not it at all!" or wonder if my powers of description are really that awful that things can get misinterpreted so easily. Describing the anguish I had in not being able to go to weezyl's BBQ (and why I had it) seems like it'd be utterly moot.

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