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moof's prattling

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June 27th, 2004

asperger's, depression, my family, 'n' me. (long) @ 11:10 pm

Current Mood: aggravated agitated
Current Music: various mp3s from Bootie

 
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From:vvvexation
Date:June 28th, 2004 06:47 am (UTC)
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For what it's worth, he didn't seem to me to be saying that prayer would definitely help (though you'd know better than I whether or not he was implying it), more that that was at least one thing you could do. After all, people generally pray in order to feel like they're doing something when nothing else works.

Oddly enough, this sounded a bit like the responses I get to this sort of thing from my dad, who is generally a very clueful person but who doesn't always understand the exact things I'm going through and yet seeks to relate in whatever way he can. I, too, get frustrated with him when he recommends solutions that I already know won't work, but lately I've come to realize that he's just tossing out all the advice he can think of to give because he wants so badly to be helpful even when he doesn't know how, and thus I've become a bit more patient in my "no, Dad, it doesn't work like that"s.
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From:valree
Date:June 28th, 2004 04:57 pm (UTC)
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My dad is the same way too. It's most men's inclination to fix problems, and when they can't fix the problems of their loved ones, they can only offer advice. Ineffective or inappropriate as it may seem. What I'm saying is empathy is not a dad's strong point. And I think you're talking about something that is a little beyond his scope of understanding, so he's just offering his love, as bizarre and foreign as his brand of love may seem. It's hard for people who don't have the same issues to understand that their efforts may only contribute to the problem.
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From:elegantelbow
Date:June 28th, 2004 05:52 pm (UTC)
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*nod*

This is something Debra Tannen talked about in You Just Don't Understand. That men (in general) tended to offer advice first, and women (in general) tended to offer sympathy first, and that someone looking for one would be frustrated by receiving the other.

That's a lovely icon, by the way, where did it come from?
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From:valree
Date:June 29th, 2004 04:35 pm (UTC)
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Thank you! I made it... traced a photo in Photoshop.

moof's prattling

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