grand moof tarkin (moof) wrote,
grand moof tarkin
moof

  • Music:

Jamais vu.

Whenever I visit someplace I've never been, I feel like I'm in a dream state and there's some level of unreality about. Things can be perfectly normal, but things like sidewalks shout their foreignness. The feeling is intensified if it's familiar - when I was in Hong Kong, things started to feel familiar damn quick, but the strangeness of it was always present.

After about a week or so, these feelings fade but the memories still 'feel' strange. I remember going out to northern California for the first time for a job interview and driving and being told to turn this way and that way and go here and go there - but even though I know those places like the back of my hand these days, those memories have such a tinge of strangeness about them.

The same thing sort of happens in reverse for me when I go back to Chicago - things changed from underneath me, from how they 'should' be. The main difference is that it's tinged with wistfulness rather than with wonder.

I'd really like to be able to hold onto the wonder and not have regrets or pining for what was.

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