grand moof tarkin (moof) wrote,
grand moof tarkin

  • Mood:
  • Music:

the weakend

Friday night, Kate came down for the weekend; we had dinner, she dyed my hair, and we watched the fine opus Frankenhooker. Yesterday, we had lunch, went to the mall, went to a bbq, had dinner... and then I collapsed emotionally because I couldn't handle it all.

I have an exceptionally low amount of energy for emotional and social interaction; I need alone time in order to recharge. The perverse part of it is I really want to be social, and often get lonely - but I sometimes just can't handle being around other people. It's frustrating as hell; not only do I want to go out, but I feel like I ought to be able.

The low emotional energy thing is one of the primary Asperger's symptoms I have; another main one is the inability to read social signals. I've learned how to infer a bunch of them, but when it comes to teasing or socially-oriented-jokes, I get flummoxed; I either don't know how to react or don't even notice them. I think the latter comes about when I haven't mentally associated myself with some group that does [something]. Compliments and flirting are still especially problematic, because I'm never sure if people are kidding or are being sincere, and what the implications of either are. In a lot of ways; I don't feel I'm someone who's "supposed to" get either of those; they're certainly never expected when they happen.

I'm trying to work up the energy to go investigate Fabrics R Us, but I'm so close to empty I don't know if I can; I may have to settle for laundry being the accomplishment of the day.


  • (no subject)

    I've been meaning to post my "decade in review" and "thoughts about my japan trip, redux" and "update japan travel recommendations", and even started…

  • japan travel guide: updated for 2019!

    I've been in Japan for a week now, and I'm getting used to how things work again. I hadn't spent any appreciable amount of time on my own here for...…

  • (no subject)

    Looks like I started an entry in May, but never finished it. How time flies. My sister had her first kid in May, so that's nice. She'd mostly given…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.