And the answer is... @ 03:15 pm
The doc looked at it for about five seconds and said "Yeah, it's gout." No stretched or pissed-off ligaments, which is a good thing; all I need to do is continue to chow down on ibuprofen, start taking colchicine again, and refrain from eating peas, lentils, beans, fish roe, scallops, oysters, abalone, shellfish, drinking beer or wine, and much red meat. Sigh.
If my ankle keeps on improving like it has been, I should be back to relatively-normal by Friday, though. Yay for being able to walk again!