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March 21st, 2002

Mindgames. @ 12:43 am

Current Mood: listless listless
Current Music: Lush, Heavenly Nobodies

I had sushi this evening with Phoebe, and afterward drank coffee and talked about various and sundry things - the LJ Laughitoff Conspiracy, the duck responsible for my schizophrenia, the bathroom (where you bathe) and the toilet (where you toil), and other various silly and sublime bits. I (rather stupidly) yet again got about five hours of sleep and so started talking a blue streak of nonsense after a while. One serious topic that did come up, though, was the notion of mind games.

I was unable to express terribly clearly what makes me so damn annoyed with them most of the time; it was mostly of a "I know it when I see it" sort of description. (I didn't even do my standard bitch about Boston and how I felt completely out of place there amongst the cliquishness and Drama and mind games.) After phoebe left, though, I realized that I have a simple criteria for separating the "good" from the "bad": the intent to bend or break the person involved.

Ugh, I know there was somewhere I was going with this entry, but I feel a lonely mopiness descending again (possibly from lack of sleep, possibly because it's been at least a week or two since I've been depressive) and my thoughts have turned to mush. I'm misspelling words and starting to use lots of semicolons, which is always a bad sign for me. Tomorrow I'll try to look outward instead of doing the standard navelgazing spiral inward and downward - but for right now, it's sleepytime.

 
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From:renegade_lib
Date:March 21st, 2002 06:42 am (UTC)

Boston, my home town.

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Sigh, I have such a love-hate relationship with this city. How long did you live here for? Why did you leave? What were your impressions? How does Cali compare? I bitch about the people here but maybe it's the same wherever you go...
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From:moof
Date:March 22nd, 2002 12:04 am (UTC)

Re: Boston, my home town.

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My reply was long enough that I just made it a regular LJ entry. :) [oops, rereading it I see that I neglected to mention exactly how long I was there: august 1992 - august 1993.]

You should visit SF; it's quite the interesting place. Of the eight areas in the US where I've spent significant amounts of time, it's near or at the top.
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From:g_na
Date:March 21st, 2002 08:32 pm (UTC)
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Mind games are bad. Doing something with the intent to bend or break the other person is manipulation and that is wrong. But some people don't like straight-forwardness, I guess. Some people are too into mind games and drama and all the other crap that goes with it. Blah.
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From:moof
Date:March 21st, 2002 11:23 pm (UTC)
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A semi-rhetorical set of questions:

Are drugs mindgames? Jokes? Being told the ridiculous and/or sublime inside of a giant Goat? Sadomasochism? Horror stories? Seeing a psychotherapist? Having a drawn-out intellectual/philosophical discussion? Anything with a subtext other than the "obvious" one?

I don't think that manipulation in and of itself is necessarily bad. It's the intent and the extent which set off the warning klaxons for me.
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From:g_na
Date:March 22nd, 2002 01:01 am (UTC)
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Good questions. But I think I'd have to agree with you about the intent and extent being the deciding factor.

I think there is a difference between things like mind games or manipulation, and drugs, s&m, drawn-out discussions, etc - the latter serve to alter your perspective and let you see different facets whereas the former attempt to bend you according to the manipulator's will.

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